Taco Bell (International)

food: 3.5/5
experience: 4/5
overall: 3.5/5

It's Taco Bell. Don't go in expecting the Morton's Steakhouse of Mexican food and you should be fine. At this point everyone knows what they're getting here. A sloppy Joe-style mix of pseudo-ground beef actually made from soy protein (if you couldn't tell by the distinct mealy texture), a microwave quesadilla (jk their quesadillas are pretty good), and whatever Dorito-flavored concoction they've come up with lately.


I wouldn't come here unless I was in dire need of some Mexican food and everything else was closed. Which never happens. Even then I would only stick to their bean burritos. Can't go wrong with a bean burrito. Their beans are good, at least. For a buck it ain't too bad. (I think it's still a buck? Idk) Speaking of Doritos, I guess now they stick Fritos in those burritos too. 'Murica.


You can also get quesaritos which are like cheese-stuffed-crust pizza but burrito edition. It's a quesadilla wrapped into a burrito. They have something called a cheesy roll-up for a dollar which is like a mini cheese burrito. Basically a worse version of both of the quesarito's parents.

I used to eat their Mexican pizzas as a kid, those are kinda bomb gotta say. Even served them at one of my legendary sleepover birthday parties.


The namesake tacos though. They're flavorless, whether they're made with soft flour or hard (stale) corn shells that crack on first bite. Even if I could tolerate that soy crap I wouldn't. Hence the many varieties of taco sauce they provide for free.


This jury's still out on the difference between a taco and a gordita.

One redeeming menu item: their cinnamon crisps. These were definitely a part of my unofficial after-school program growing up (that mostly just consisted of me driving to Taco Bell on the way home).


Oh yeah and their quesadillas are probably the best in the fast food game, though that's not saying much considering how many other fast food places have them (little to none).


Taco Bell has hopped on the breakfast train! Sadly it's only available until 11am and not all day. And yeah of course they have breakfast burritos but let's be a little more adventurous here.


The mini skillet bowl (bottom) is their breakfast version of cheesy fiesta potatoes so it has egg in there too, plus nacho cheese and pico on top. But it's the fast food egg mix kind of egg so I honestly would just get their potatoes instead. Those are good. The sausage quesadilla (top) is a little better. I love sausage as a breakfast meat, moreso than bacon. It still has the egg mix in there and there's very little cheese but I like the wheat tortilla they wrap it in. Saving the best for last, the crunch wrap (right) has always enticed me but not enough to splurge - except when I found out it was for breakfast too. Something about breakfast man. It gets me. It has the "eggs" in it too (naturally, being a breakfast item). Comes with creamy jalapeño sauce which adds a little bit of spice. I definitely liked the delicious hash browns, the cheese and the sweet, sweet bacon.

And for dessert-breakfast they have some new Cinnabon thingies.


They taste basically like doughnut holes with a little cinnamon sugar on the outside and cream cheese filling on the inside. Nothing too exciting but they're not bad for a little snack. Be a good customer and they might throw in an extra one for you. Only a buck plus tax, can't beat it. They don't resemble Cinnabon at all though, keep in mind.

So. Taco Bell. You're actually alright aside from your mystery meat. Your quesadillas reign supreme and your simple bean burritos are the stuff (mediocre) dreams are made of. Your breakfast is...not bad. Now if only you could give some sort of coupons for signing up for text alerts like Jack-in-the-Box we'd be all set. What they do have is a contest on their receipt for $500 cash giveaway. Alright, I guess I'll take that over a coupon...

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