McDonald's (International)

food: 4.5/5
experience: 5/5
overall: 4.5/5

UPDATE: I tried the new McGriddle! Scroll down to the breakfast section.

Man why does bad food taste so good.

One thing I like about the keto diet is I can eat all the protein and fat I want which means burgers burgers burgers. I love me some Mickey D's. I don't know what happened, I used to be such a healthy eater, but these past five-odd years I've just been eating everything. It's like my willpower finally broke. Anyway. The locations are all the same, usually friendly service and now they encourage using those automated systems. Sometimes they give me a free drink but even then they're a buck for any size. I've tried all the basics, the burgers, the different buns, the fries.


They make delicious-looking (and -tasting) pretzel buns now. Everything from the chicken sandwich to the fish fillet to the regular burger is good, mostly thanks to their buns. There's something to be said for presentation. They also taste kinda like sweet bread.

For a healthier alternative, they make some bangin' salads. You'd be surprised. Fast food salad has come a long way. My favorite is the Southwest grilled chicken salad.


I wish they didn't keep reducing the size of their fruit and yogurt parfaits. They used to be about 16oz and now they're like 6oz.


Their sausage biscuits and McMuffins are the best breakfast options. Breakfast sandwiches are usually a win anyway but McDonald's has the flakiest biscuits and spiciest sausages of anywhere else.


UPDATE: McDonald's has a new McGriddle with fried chicken! Alright, I had to try the McGriddle after seeing this advertised. It's the closest thing on their menu to chicken & waffles which is my signature breakfast entree.


The pancakes taste like their regular breakfast pancakes but thicker and with maple syrup inside. Kinda soggy tbh. But the fried chicken. Can't go wrong there. For fast food, this passed the test. They also come in that delicious, buttery, flaky biscuit mentioned above. I'd skip their pancake breakfast though. Pancakes are a little rubbery. I mean, they were frozen after all.


In France they have something called pommes-frites (fried potatoes) sauce which I think is just tartar sauce lol. It's really good though. Obviously no tartar sauce is to be sold at any McDonald's in America so you'll have to go to the nearest fish and chips to find some. They also have bakeries in the McDonald's at France. How fancy.


If you come on the right day to the right location and all the stars align, their ice cream machine might be working and you can get a delicious soft-serve cone for only one buckaroo. Also one buckaroo: any size soda from the fabled Coca Cola Freestyle Machine.


Another famous McD's dessert offering: the apple pie. It tastes better than it looks, and it's also advertised better than it looks (what isn't?).


They also have a seasonal pumpkin pie which is even better.


Gotta love me some cheap McDonald's cookies for the road. They come in chocolate chip and not-chocolate-chip-so-it-doesn't-matter.


And how could I get their McFlurries? If you want a thick, thick ice cream experience with Oreo crumbles or crunchy M&M's mixed in, please do yourself a favor and get one of these delicious calorie bombs. Oh McFlurry, I do so miss you.


Fair warning: McFlurries are endangered! McDonald's is rumored to put an end to my beloved McFlurry so get one while they last. As of late, they have hinted they might get rid of the M&Ms... noooo!!!!

Last but not least, or well, actually least, their fries. McDonald's needs to work on their fries. They're skinny and limp and not very tasty. They could use some extra salt but you can't mask bland with salt, as that just makes it taste like salt and nothing else. Burger King beats them here.


Other than that I'd put McDanks at the top of my list of fast food burger chains, though I must admit I'm no connoisseur.

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